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Haunted Houses in xxx with discount couponsHappy Halloweeen from Haunted Houses USA!
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USA Haunted Houses are great and safe fun for the entire family. These USA Halloween attractions are spooky and scary and many offer coupons and online discounts so you can save money! Enjoy a great night out at a local Haunted Halloween Attraction near you.

Happy Haloween!
We figured we would throw out a few one-liners to demostrate our holiday spirit!

  • What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.
  • What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common? Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.
  • Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank? He was caught drinking on the job.
  • Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating? Women can see right through them.
  • Why are Vampires Democrats? They wanted Gore in 2000.
  • What kind of clothes do Zombies wear? Decay NY.
  • Why aren't there any famous skeletons? They're a bunch of no bodies.
  • What kind of music do Mummies listen to? Wrap.
  • What do you call a guy turned on by a witch? Scared stiff.

What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo! 

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end. 

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound. 

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
A: It had no guts...

How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscope...

What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A: A boo boo...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween...

Q. Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart

Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.

Q. Where do most werewolves live? A. In howllywood

Q. Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Scarolina.

Q. Where does a ghost refuel his porche? A. At a ghastly station.

Q. What do Italian's eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)

Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man.

Q. What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray

Q. What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deady

Q. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby

Q. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a sqaush? A. a squashed pumpkin pie.

Q. Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It's drafty under that sheet.


 

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and

bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked.

"I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied.

"I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.

"OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll

be two bloods and a blood light?"

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